FebulousFebruary 2025: Lost and Found

Gay Men Are Dads (Even when covid is around)

12 months since I joined an online network of gay dads.

Adoption, surrogacy, shared care and other.

The driving force behind all of them was a domesticity that society left floating around for so long like the 1950s housewife.

These men exude love, caring, loving smiles, domestic ups and downs, nappy talk, sleepless nights, home schooling, and the tribulations like I have only experienced gaggles of mums doing on the playground.

However these men take nothing for granted in their crusade to be fathers. Mother Nature didn’t select us to be straight, get hitched and reproduce. 

Through lock downs and waves of covid shared all their amazing support for each other and all the diverse things they were doing with their babies, toddlers, small people and teenagers.

These men, of a similar age, grew up without the ability to form their relationships into marriage, naturally conceive, access the world without prejudice and couldn’t even adopt.

The options were not there for us.  We were without a womb so that was a non self starter.  However I can only describe all of these dads exuding as maternal…not paternal qualities.

I chose my label for my relationship with my own son as a maternal father.   Saying anything else just isn’t fitting because I wish I could have carried him. So right back at your Mother Nature! …I take back the mother label. The housewife is still very much alive. In me, as a man!

We are well on our way to fulfilling our dreams as men but many with the mother in us all.

Adam Lott 41 from Kent.

Father of three.